Brianne Edwards, Author of “A Thousand Pounds” shares her journey of grief after losing her son.
It happened on an ordinary Monday, the day after Mother’s Day. I am the mother of Lachlan, who is my little boy who died during his nap at day care when he was ten months old. And the death of a child is just such an all encompassing, life changing experience. I was in such a deep grief. I didn’t know what to do with that, how to carry that sorrow. And so I started looking for ways to connect with other bereaved parents and look for ways to honor Lachlan with the things that I was doing. It gave me something with purpose to do with my grief. And so even in those earliest days, I found so much benefit in connecting to other bereaved parents. And I found that resources after the loss of a child were really hard to find. And so the idea of creating a nonprofit to do just that, to be a hub of resources so people can find those easily, and to create a network of bereaved parents, of parents who have had similar losses, to be able to connect with each other, so that’s where Lach’s legacy was founded with that mission and that drive and purpose.”
In 2008, in the months after Lachlan’s death, Edwards founded Lach’s Legacy giving her a “beautiful opportunity to accompany other bereaved parents in their journeys of loss.”
“With the Lach’s Legacy Foundation. I’ve done a lot of writing and little blogs along the way, and for years and years I’ve had people say to me, ‘Bri, you should write a book. I liked the idea, but it’s so big, it’s such a big story and it really meshes with every little piece of your life. So how do you break that apart and tell it in a way that makes sense and give the story to a reader in a way that would be beneficial for them? And so it sat in the abstract for a really long time.”
“And then how that transitioned, I’ve got a cousin who has dreams that sometimes mean something. And so I was talking to her one day and she said, ‘Oh, Bri, by the way, I had a dream. You were writing your third book.’ And I kind of laughed and and I said, ‘Oh, you didn’t happen to catch a title and an outline, did you?’ And she goes, ‘Well, no, not exactly. But one of them was called a 1,000 pounds.”
“And as soon as she said that title…it’s based on an analogy that I’ve used for grief for a really long time. That in the beginning it’s like somebody drops 1,000 pounds on your chest and you can’t think and you can’t breathe and you can’t move. It’s just completely crushing and paralyzing, but it’s a weight that never really goes away. It’s a weight that you gradually learn to carry. And so once I had that working title, I was able to sit down that afternoon and outline the entire book. I knew exactly what it would look like. And so then just slowly, bit by bit, [I] started working through and telling the story. And now here, years later, it’s finally come to fruition. So it’s such a big story, and I really wanted it to be an occasion of healing for people and not just to read my story, but to also be able to encounter theirs. And when I wrote the book in particular, I had in mind those other bereaved parents. It’s like when I’m meeting with a new family, and I wish I could just tell them, like everything that I’ve learned along the way, all in one sitting, but it’s too much. And so it was my story to them.”
Edwards explains some of the reactions from early readers of her book. “It is people are from all kinds of walks, [and] are really finding a lot of benefit. It doesn’t seem to matter what the loss has been and what the source of the grief is. People are really finding things that are resonating for them and even people who have not had a significant loss are finding that just that look kind of through the window into the soul of a bereaved mom makes them feel better equipped to walk with their loved ones who might be grieving.”
“So really I had a very specific audience in mind as I was writing it, but it seems to be beautifully applicable to almost everybody. And my goal with the rest of the book is to basically walk hand in hand with somebody who’s grieving and like…What are the skills?…What are the thoughts?…What were the perspectives that were helpful in learning to then carry that weight and to be able to live with it and to be able to live in a way where there’s still peace and joy and and to be able to grieve comfortably where it’s not quite so crushing and all consuming as it was in the very beginning.”
A 1,000 Pounds: Finding strength to live in love under the weight of unbearable loss is now available on Amazon or Kindle Editions, with an audio book coming soon. For more information on the book click here. For more information on Lach’s Legacy Foundation, visit their Facebook page here.